dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
