i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
