and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
