did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
