i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
