Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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