then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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