This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
as a side note pls kill me
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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