Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
