But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
