I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Randomize
