You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
