i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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