No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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