Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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