yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
