Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
