when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
