How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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