I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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