I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
