she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
