I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
