Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
