a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
