So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
