He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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