whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
