Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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