you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
