Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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