he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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