Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
