I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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