Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
