Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Randomize
