remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
