i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
how drunk are you?
Several
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
