dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
