OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
