Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize