I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
