I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
then he tried to convert me to islam
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
