There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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