so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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