You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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