ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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