I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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