party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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