I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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