i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
