He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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