your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
