maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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