I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize