I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
