I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
